Adopting a child is an act of love and commitment, but it can also come with unexpected challenges. One family shared their story with us about adopting a child who had experienced trauma and neglect. What they hadn’t anticipated was the significant impact of their child’s speech and language difficulties on their ability to express emotions, connect with others, and build relationships.
Despite having experience as adoptive parents, this situation felt entirely new. They struggled to find clear information or practical strategies to support their child’s development and began to feel overwhelmed. Then they discovered our service.
Working with one of our family coaches, the parents gained a better understanding of their child’s needs. Together, they created a plan that included:
Strategies to encourage language development through play and daily routines.
Tools for building social skills and managing emotions.
Emotional scaffolding for the parents themselves, who were navigating unfamiliar territory.
The parents described the transformation as life-changing:
“For the first time, we felt like we could truly connect with our child. Their confidence grew, and so did ours.”
The story below highlights how vital it is to address not just the child’s needs but also the well-being and resilience of the entire family.
When we decided to become foster parents, we thought we were ready for anything. We’d cared for children before and felt confident we could provide a loving, stable home. But then Sam came to us, and everything changed.
Sam had been through so much—trauma, neglect, and upheaval. We knew he’d need extra care and support, but what we didn’t realise was how hard it would be for Sam to communicate. He was just 4, he struggled to tell us what he needed or how he felt, and as a result, he got so out of control at times. The frustration was written all over his little face, and it broke our hearts.
We felt completely out of our depth. We wanted to help but didn’t know how. Opening your home to offer a loving and safe environment and the child you’re trying to help looking petrified and upset - that's the last thing we wanted. It was an awful situation to be in, made worse by the fact there was no-one to ask for help.
Simple questions like "What would you like for breakfast?" could end in tears, tantrums, or silence. It wasn’t just Sam who felt upset—we were overwhelmed too. Watching him struggle made us feel like we weren’t doing enough. We’d never experienced anything like this before, and it was hard not to feel inadequate.
We searched high and low for advice. Most of what we found online didn’t seem to fit our situation, and there wasn’t any local support we could turn to. We started to wonder if we’d ever find the right help. Then someone recommended SLCo, and we got in touch.
Their family coach understood what we were going through straight away. They explained that Sam’s struggles weren’t unusual for trauma experienced children who also experience language difficulties—and, most importantly, that we weren’t failures as foster parents. It was the first time anyone had said that to us, and it made such a difference.
The coach worked with us to create simple strategies that fit into our daily lives. We learned how to break things down for Sam, use pictures and gestures to support communication, and give him time to process. The coach also helped us understand how to manage the emotional side of things—both for Sam and for us.
The emotional support scaffolding they gave us was just as important as the practical tools. They helped us see that Sam’s behaviour wasn’t about being "difficult"—it was their way of coping with frustration, and in Sam’s case, significant sensory challenges. Once we understood that, we know how to work to Sam’s needs, as well as respond with positive language, encouragement, and show more patience and empathy.
We’ve come such a long way since then. Sam still has his challenges, but he's learned to regulate himself and started to express himself more, and meltdowns are less frequent. We’ve also grown confident that we’re able to help him and know how to act. Knowing there’s someone to turn to when we need help makes all the difference.
We are now adopting Sam, and it’s the best thing we’ve ever decided to do. Feeling that we are confident that we have learned the skills we need to support him long term, has been a major factor in us making a lifelong commitment from fostering to adoption.
There is no training or support for foster families that look after children with language barriers and we are fortunate to have found such a specialist help service. We have learned so much about child development and attachment, how children acquire language skills and how, when there is trauma in the mix, a whole host of challenges crop up.
The way which things were explained to us, as well as the support that was given on a weekly basis, has completely changed the life of our wee boy.
It is amazing the changes that we have seen in him. When we reflect on how we started off not knowing how to help or what to do, and where we are now, we can see quite clearly how important it is that parents are aware of all these things and learn about how to work with your child to effectively respond to what his needs are.
I can highly recommend that everyone who is looking after a child with communication difficulties is supported by a service like this.
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