Turning a Chaotic Xmas to a Happy One!

“When our son was younger, the Xmas holidays could bring on a sense of doom. It often felt unpredictable and stressful. While other families seemed to slip into the excitement of decorations, lights and gatherings, we found ourselves walking on eggshells."  

"He struggled with changes to routine, became overwhelmed by noise and busy environments, and couldn’t always find the words to explain what he was feeling. We wanted him to enjoy Xmas, but most years we ended up exhausted, unsure what to do next, and feeling like we were somehow getting it wrong. 

Trying to get to the shops for presents and groceries was a nightmare. Too much sensory overload for him, he just couldn’t cope. It wasn’t always possible not to put him through the stress of it all. For kids like my son, finding anyone he was comfortable to stay with for any length of time could cause lots of problems, and people you know aren’t always keen to help.  

There were moments when he’d shut down completely or become upset over things we hadn’t realised would be difficult — maybe someone arriving unexpectedly at the door or coming into the house, a change to mealtimes, even the brightness of the fairy lights. Often, the mood in the house seemed different to him, whether it was a more exciting time for the other kids, and he found that unsettling, it was hard to figure out. We didn’t understand then just how much uncertainty he was carrying inside, or how hard he was trying. 

Working with SLCo helped us understand what he needed. The Family Coaches listened, reassured us, and helped us see that none of this was our fault — and none of it was his. Together we learned how to make small but powerful changes. Now we use a simple visual plan each day, build in lots of quiet time, and prepare him gently for any changes. Instead of trying to meet every expectation of a “perfect Xmas,” we’ve learned how to build a version of Xmas that works for him. 

It does require a bit of thought, and you have to put the time aside to make it work. It’s worth the effort as it makes life easier and everyone is happier rather than feeling stressed out. The difference has been incredible. Our home feels calmer, our son feels more in control, and we feel better equipped to support him. We still have our wobbles — every family does — but we no longer dread the festive season or brace ourselves for the next meltdown. We’ve adapted some of the strategies we use and we’re getting a lot better at identifying when things need changed. 

Xmas has become the family time we genuinely look forward to. We enjoy the slower moments, the time we can spend together enjoying simple things and the little rituals that make sense for us. Most importantly, we see our son relaxing and being himself. Seeing him smiling and happy and knowing that he feels safe, secure, and is enjoying himself is the best Xmas present any family could want for their child. 

Thank you to the SLCo team for helping us understand our child better and supporting us to create a communication-friendly home. It has changed the way our whole family experiences Xmas.”— Mandy, Dundee